Quitting E-Harmony

I’ve talked a bit about my e-harmony experience on here, but over the last few months I feel that I was just in a figurative stalemate with the site.  I would find someone who seemed good, talk to them for a bit and then…nothing.  Everything would just drop off and I would sit around wondering what the heck had happened. I am not going to say that e-harmony does not work for people- it just didn’t work for me.

Maybe I wanted faster results from e-harmony.  I know I wanted at least a date out of it.  I didn’t get that and paying money and continuing to get nothing isn’t smart in my book.  So I stopped paying e-harmony and I’m going to try another site, a free site.

Did I mention I’m not giving up on this idea?  Just because one site didn’t work for me, it doesn’t mean that they will all be the same.  Admittedly, I won’t be meeting people that have been pre-vetted by a specific set of questions, but there is a part of me that wonders if that was part of the problem.  I did find people that I was attracted to on e-harmony, but it never worked past a certain point. It usually ended after their predefined questions were over and the two of us actually had to come up with things to say.

I’m not going to say that the men are solely to blame for this- I have had my share of moments where I did not know what to say or how to say it.  However- this is the general problem that I have with e-harmony (and almost any other dating site really)- people do not know how to ask good questions.  Please don’t say ‘hi, how are you?’  I have a profile for pete’s sake and it *should* have something that interests you enough to message me more than ‘hi, how are you?’  I’ll even settle for some off the wall question over those four words.  I think that asking genuine questions gets people further and I’m testing that theory (so far- the results are meh- but I AM getting some results).

So, in a nut shell- I quit e-harmony, but I’m not giving up on trying to find a relationship and I’m trying to go at it from a different perspective.  I took it a bit personally when people didn’t respond to me on e-harmony, now I can only smile and say ‘they don’t know what they are missing’.  That may sound a bit conceited, but in all honesty- you have to build up your self-confidence to put yourself out there with complete strangers and if I’m going to do it- I’m not going to half ass it, to only have to look back with regrets later.  That’s no way to live your life.

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2 thoughts on “Quitting E-Harmony

  1. good for you!
    not everyone is cut out for on-line dating.
    it’s hard and sometimes out of your control.
    Good luck with good old fashioned face-to-face dating – it works, so hang in there!
    ~ Sassy

  2. I have found the same issues with eHarmony! I’ve been bitching about it since I signed up. I also expected more from a site that is charging me for services that so many other online dating sites are providing for free.
    Though, I do have my first eHarmony date scheduled for next weekend… so, I may owe those guys an apology, depending on how it goes…

    Best of luck on the free site!

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