Whether you are a pint of ice cream type girl or a run yourself into the ground type of girl- you have probably dealt with rejection at least once in your life. While all of us have a good idea of what we should do when dealing with rejection, this is rarely what we actually do and there are more than enough people that detail just exactly what you should do,in excruciating detail. So, I thought that it might be a good idea to detail some of the things that are really bad ideas to do when you are dealing with being rejected by a man. And if there are any men that read this- just know that for most of the following, you can simply switch out the feminine or masculine articles and it applies perfectly well to you also.
1.) Publishing snitchy facebook statuses about the ‘man that tore up your heart’ and how he is a ‘f*&king b*stard’.
This is probably the grand puma of bad ideas and it shows just how emotionally unprepared you are for a relationship- with anyone. Everybody is socially connected and while this does have some benefits of allowing you to keep up with people that live far away from you- it also is an easy outlet for pent up frustrations. Before you put out a facebook status (or even worse- a post on that person’s facebook page)- stop and take a moment to think about it. If you are fine with all 1000+ of your ‘friends’ knowing that you and Johnny Boy just had it out because of the fact that he broke up with you for not reason that you can ascertain, that’s fine. I honestly doubt though that you want to deal with the retaliation that just might be coming your way when the guy gets his head wrapped around what you just said about him.
2.) Dating His Friend as Payback
Right behind making facebook posts about your relationship issues- this is a sure way to continue the pain that you really want to avoid. Sometimes dating his friend can be a good idea- after the break up has been for more than a few weeks. When you start dating his friend a couple of weeks after the two of you broke up- things just might get ugly. He might not take it personally- then again- he could take it as a way that you are trying to keep a foothold in his life. You are the only one that really knows your motivation and if the word ‘payback’ has already come to mind, it’s best to stay away from it. Ultimately- if you are going to attempt to date one of his friends, proceed with caution and make sure that payback isn’t the ultimate motivation.
3.) Making a Drastic Change In Appearance
So, you’ve always wanted short hair and you’ve always been a fan of the goth look, but you’ve just never really had the motivation to go out and change your appearance. Then comes the rejection and you suddenly start looking at what is wrong with you and when you put together the pieces of the puzzle- you decide you need a makeover. Fellow women, please do yourself a favor and do not go out and make a drastic change to your appearance for the sake of giving yourself some distance between what has happened. Most likely you are going to want your long hair back, want to go back to your natural color or really regret the decision to suddenly acquire a new wardrobe of questionable clothes. Save your money- treat yourself to a pedicure and a massage. If you still feel the need to make a drastic change after a couple months, then you might want to actually consider the change. Doing anything while you are in an emotional state will just make it worse.
4.) Making Snide Comments about His Manhood
The two of you have slept together, whether it be once, twice or a six month relationship that has come to an abrupt end. No matter how tempted you may be- spouting off about manhood is bound to get bad. Even if it does not get back to him, some of your friends are going to take issue with this as well. In a break up- just leave sex out of it. It’ll be best for the both of you in the long run.
5.) Drunk Texting
Akin to poorly planned facebook rants, there is nothing that says ‘I am not taking rejection well’ like a drunk text at 2 a.m. on a Saturday morning to your ex, bemoaning why you broke up. Or even worse- asking him to get back with you. In this post we are assuming that you did not break up with him- so he is not going to take this well. Sure, you can send a text the next day stating that you are sorry for drunkenly accosting him with text messages about a relationship that is done- but the damage has already been done. If you think there is even a remote possibility that you might be tempted to do this while you are at- leave your phone at home or give it to a good friend for safe keeping. This, like the facebook status, is something that you can’t really take back, even if you try.
The bad ideas that come along with rejection are things that run through our minds no matter what. Actually doing these things catapults you into an entirely different level of annoying ex (stalker ex…if you want). Take a deep breath and if you need to- write out all the vindictive stuff, then throw it away, just so that you can get it out. Hopefully- none of you are guilty of this, but I am absolutely sure that some people out there have done these things. Let me know if your results were better than I think they were.