Well- today I decided that in the sense of honesty and fairness, I would focus on the things that I truly dislike in a man. This is a personal top ten list and should not be taken as any solid fact that every woman is going to dislike the same things. That being said, you might find some nuggets of wisdom here or something to laugh at. So- without further ado, my top ten starting with the least annoying and going to the most annoying.
10.) Unflattering Haircut
This will be my lone physical attribute that makes the list and this is also a physical attribute that can easily be fixed. Some guys look good with short hair, other look good with long hair. It all depends on the man, but this is one thing that can be controlled. Go to a hairdresser and take care of yourself. If you know you look better with the ‘shaggy’ look go for it, if you look better with a shaved head go for that too. I’m not asking men to become slaves to hair product and everything else, I’m just saying that paying attention doesn’t hurt.
Bad things happen in life and some times things just do not go your way- if a man cannot be flexible and deal with the good and bad that life has to offer, it’s not good. Is it fine to be mad or upset about what happens? It is. It is not fine to not know how to adjust to the changes that come your way. If you can’t adapt to change- how in the world are you going to go through a relationship with someone and all of the changes that that offers?
8.) Extreme Shyness
I am a shy person. I am fine with other people being shy as well, it is just exceptionally hard for me to be or even contemplate being in a relationship with someone that is shyer than I am. I’ve read the various articles about how shy guys act and I understand how things can be hard on men that are shy, but for me this is a bit of a turn off. I may be completely wrong, but I am fairly sure that I am going to need to be with someone who is more extroverted than I am. Shy guys- that doesn’t mean that you don’t have a chance with all girls, you do have a chance with many of them- it is just difficult to have a conversation with someone who does not bring out your extroverted side.
7.) Has no opinions.
If a guy agrees with everything that I say, even the semi-crazy not so good stuff and seems to have no opinions of his own- bye bye. Do you need to agree with people on things? Yes. But you also need to disagree and have different opinions and be able to voice those opinions without getting into a tiff. I basically like the idea of having debates with people about different things and if you don’t have an opinion on anything, that’s pretty much impossible.
If you aren’t addicted to exercise, video games or reading, I don’t like it. If you have a beer or two on the weekend, that’s fine. If you are so dependent on something that you cannot live without it, that is a huge problem. I’m not going to believe that I can change you, I’m not going to believe that you’ll stop for me. You have to do that for yourself.
5.) Weak Handshake
Now we are getting into the serious ones, the things that are my biggest pet peeves and we are going to start with a weak handshake. If you think of women as delicate little flowers that are going to break if you grip their hands too hard- I’m not the girl for you. I HATE when guys give me the delicate little handshake. Don’t try to break my fingers, but my goodness- don’t give me the little weak handshake and think that you are being nice. Firm handshakes are a must for this little southern belle.
4.) No conversation skills
This is a pretty simple one- if I do not want to talk to you and you don’t know how to start a conversation with me, it’s not good. It might just take awhile to warm up to the conversation and I do give people the benefit of the doubt, but if it is a truly stilted conversation every time, then I’m not going to be happy and neither will the guy in question. So, brush up on your conversation skills and if you don’t know how to chit chat- that’s fine. Just know that some chit chatting is probably going to be necessary with whatever girl you are interested in.
3.) Hot, Cold, and Lukewarm
No one likes being yanked around- so people that go hot and cold are really difficult to deal with. Admittedly- this is probably going to happen at least once in the beginning of any relationship (or so I have seen) and this is the time when both of you should try to figure out if you want anything to happen or not. It is the necessary space needed to think things through. The problem that I have is when things flip flop so often that you get caught wearing a parka with a pair of shorts and flip flops. I don’t appreciate this being done to me and I really try to not do this to other people. Is the attention nice at times? Yes. But is it really worth dragging someone along making them think you are interested when you aren’t? No. So guys, can the hold and cold stuff and make some decisions. Heck, you can even TELL me that you need time and I can deal with that just fine.
2.) No Sense of Humor
Can’t laugh at a comedian? Can’t laugh at a stupid joke? Can’t laugh at yourself? My goodness, I regularly do things that people think are funny and I don’t get my feelings hurt when they laugh. I usually laugh with them. Honestly- if you can make me do a truly belly clutching, gasping for breath laugh- you will be my best friend for life. You will go through good and bad things in life- I want someone by my side that can keep my laughing. If I don’t find you funny, there’s not much I can do to change that.
And number 1….
Lack of Confidence
Yep- it’s a big one. I don’t care if you have to fake it until you really feel it- fake it. I don’t have the best self confidence in the world, but I am learning how to better display self confidence, even when I’ve had a bad day. So, have some confidence in yourself. Because if you don’t think you have a chance, I’ll pick up on it and the chances you might have had will all be long gone.
So- that’s it. My top ten. If you have any personal pet peeves, feel free to add them. This is by no means all inclusive and I’m sure there are probably some things I have forgotten, but I really don’t want to get too serious about this.