There are those moments in life when you just want to scream and run away. Or you want to jump up and down, just to emphasize your point and make sure that whoever is around gets what you are saying. Neither of these things really work in dating (unless you are absolutely 100% sure you will NEVER run into your ex again). Actually- at the moment- I am not really sure what works when trying to get across the point to someone that you are not interested. I can admit that I have issues with getting across the opposite point as well- but I’m not nearly as worried about that at the moment. Right now I am much more concerned with expressing my disinterest while not turning into someone that I am not.
Although my friends are usually a plethora of advice and information on these issues- this seems to be one that has stumped them. It is also something that has to be handled delicately, even though one of my friends says that being mean comes with age. I’m hoping that what she was getting to has to do with being able to make the ‘no’ firm enough that it does not have to be reiterated time and time again. Then again, there are just times when some people do not get it.
How can you make someone understand something that they are either vehemently denying or are hoping isn’t true? Heck- I’ve been the girl that really hopes that this guy that I know in my gut is not interested will make some sort of move and suddenly be interested. There is a part of me that wishes that one of my friends would have pulled me aside- told me that I was being ridiculous and that I needed to get off my butt and just deal with it. I.e.- I needed to go on being happy in my life (in front of said person if necessary) and not let it affect me. Does it suck to come to the realization that someone you are interested in is really not interested in you? Yeah- it does, but the longer it festers the worse that it gets. I am not saying that you should make snap judgements on people that seem to show interest, I am saying that you need to go with your gut.
I should probably rename all of my relationship articles ‘go with your gut’, because that is ultimately what matters. It is why little children will give a hug to one person and run away from another. Everyone still has that gut feeling about people, somewhere in all of their adultness and you should listen to it, especially in relationships.(Jumps down off of soap box).
Now that that segue is done- I really don’t know if I have any great advice for girls and guys that just want the other person in the non-relationship to ‘get it’. It is one thing if you can control where you see the person, if you work with them and you can simply avoid their desk. Is this mature? Not really- but it should get the point across. It is another thing if you can’t really control the environment- such as in a place like a classroom or church. If you have good friends, they will usually help buffer you in some way and avoid the one on one contact that you don’t want. The sad thing is- in these situations it might come down to you shutting your trap and not talking to them at all- giving them the complete cold shoulder. It goes along with the old adage ‘If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all’. Basically- I am condoning the silent treatment and for now that is what I am going to go with. If it doesn’t work…well- you guys will all get another article out of it.