Content In the Here and Now

It is difficult sometimes to just be content with what you have.  As humans we seem to always want more- more out of ourselves, our friends and our families.  I am not saying that we should not get the best out of the people that are around us or ourselves- what I am trying to say is sometimes, we just need to be content with what we have.

I can admit that I am not completely content with the fact that I am single- what girl is really?  Most of us go through periods of our lives when we are alright with being single or where we can admit that we are not in a good place to start a relationship.  The problems arise when we want a relationship and we just can’t seem to find it- whether or not it is through some fault of our own or fate- it doesn’t matter.  We get very frustrated, very easily.

Being content is not about giving up on something that you want- it is more about living with what you have and still thinking that things may move in the right direction.  It is about being able to move along with the pace that your life is going and not trying to rush ahead to get to the good parts.  They will still be there when you arrive at your destination- trust me.  Part of life is being able to live the journey, even though it will try your patience and sometimes make you want to scream.

Part of my learning to date/ flirt/ interact with boys without feeling like I am making a complete and utter fool of myself has centered around being content with how things are in my life RIGHT NOW.  Being content with what I am getting out of relationships, acknowledging that I want more- but not pushing for anything.  I can admit that I was one of those women that I would call a ‘pusher’ in the past.  I would ask guys out and it went absolutely no where.  I wonder why?  Probably because I was hiding who I really am and also because of the fact that I was really young- so were they.

In the last few weeks I have tried the whole just being me thing and I rather like it.  I know that I am likely to get hurt without my walls up and surrounding me, but living inside of my protective little cave has done nothing for me.  If anything it has hurt me, it has kept other people from getting to know the real person that I am.  There was so much that I wanted to improve about myself that I spent all of my time waiting for the day when I would be right.  When everything would magically align and I’d just feel great about myself.  That day has not come- but something snapped inside of me that said what was I really waiting for?  Why was I hiding?

All of this comes back to being content with my life and the people in it, exactly as they are.  Are there some people that I have placed in the ‘potential for more’ category?  Yes.  Am I going to act the way that I did when I was younger and try to push things?  No- not unless it becomes extremely obvious that there is no other way.  Am I still going to have days when I feel malcontent?  Sure- but I’m only human.

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