I am learning that the advice that some online dating sites give you is full of crap. I cannot speak for some sites that match you with people based on some test that is supposed to have magical answers- but so far I can say this- the statistic that they are more likely to contact you when you contact them is false. Maybe it’s just me, but I honestly doubt that every single person I have been interested in doesn’t want to say hi. Below are just some of my observations, jaded though they may be, about what exactly this online dating thing is going to entail.
Online dating takes away something that most guys seem to enjoy- the chase. Being a girl- I don’t really get the whole chase mentality (if you like girl- why don’t you just ask her out), but I can respect that it is something that some men prefer to have in a courtship. In some ways I can see how it might even be a vital phase- because if us girls are cool to you when you are trying to ‘chase’ us- you know you don’t really have much of a chance. There is no chase in online dating- the most that you are going to get is a couple of emails that may or may not tickle your fancy.
There is also no way to really be subtle about who you like. In real life you are able to kinda feel things out before you basically say ‘I’m interested’- from what I have seen so far, you say ‘I’m interested’ before you know anything that may or may not be important. I can say that I was honest in my profile, but there are some people that I am sure were not nearly as honest as I was. And that’s fine- until you meet the person in real life and they aren’t anything like what they described. I know what I want- I’m sure most people have that set idea in their head as well, but thanks to online dating, some of the normal ‘beginning’ things get pushed back a bit.
Also- I am starting to doubt that it is possible to just ‘click’ online. I will state here that I may be completely wrong- I’m sure there are some people that just know as soon as they get that first email or whatever…but I find it a bit hard to believe. Maybe I am going about it wrong- wanting the guys to make the first move (because that’s what I want online and in real life- I don’t think it’s a good thing for the girl to make the first move), but that is what I want. I’m more than a bit old fashioned and can admit it.
So- for those of you out there who are reading this…do you really think online dating is better? Do you think it is more difficult? Or is dating, in and of itself, going to be difficult no matter what?