I think it should be pretty clear by now that I am a late bloomer when it comes to the game of dating and love. If that is not clear- I’ll repeat it now I AM A LATE BLOOMER. It has taken me awhile to settle into this conclusion and I’m still learning to deal with a lot of things. Flirting, being one of them.
I understand what flirting is- I get it. I just have a lot of issues knowing what I should and shouldn’t do. I watch the people around me and I see how many of these things seem to come naturally to them. To me, it is not something that come naturally. It takes a lot of work for me to work through these kinds of things and it takes even more work for me to keep going.
I am learning that all of this is a process. It is something that begins with something small and slowly works its way through the gambit of emotions. You cannot just sit there and expect for one part to do all of the work. You are going to have to meet the other person halfway or at the very least, try to meet them.
I’m learning that I just have to go with my gut on some things- that I have to trust that my instincts know what they are doing a lot better than my over active, over analyzing brain. I can honestly say that I am one of those people that thinks too much and while that is good when I am having to look of a paper- it is not good for my relationship skills. I’m starting to believe more and more that if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck- it’s a duck. In other words- if my gut says there is interest, there probably is. If my gut says that nothing is there- that is probably the truth as well.
It is so easy to over analyze everything. It is even easier to get impatient and just wish for things to get a move on. That is another fault of mine that I have to work on and I am working on. I could go through a million different cliches right now, but really the most important thing to remember is that rushing things isn’t going to help you any. You’re going to push the other person away before they are comfortable and that’s just not right. Everyone has their own pace, you have to figure it out.
My pace is probably a good bit slower than most people would be comfortable with, but it is really hard for me to move past my snails pace. I need time to adjust to every new thing (even when it doesn’t deal with relationships, this is also true) and I think this is just the way I am. As you can see- the way that I am directly conflicts with each other, but that is the fun in being a person- we are all going to have things inside of us that conflict with each other. You just have to learn to deal with it or explain it to the best of your ability.
I guess this relationship game is something that I am adapting to, at the very least I am getting down the hang of how to be myself in front of people. Ultimately, not being myself has crippled me in the past more than anything else. Am I still having to learn a lot of things? Yep. Am I okay with being ‘behind’? I guess- there’s nothing I can really do to change it. Am I going to continue to write about my experiences? Absolutely- how else am I going to figure all of this stuff out?