Ugly Duck Syndrome

I don’t know how many women I know that suffer from ugly duck syndrome in one form or another.  It is sad that most women don’t think themselves pretty enough or good enough.  I know that there are definitely days when I feel this way and I try to remind myself that I am worth it.  Sometimes this is something that is easier sad than done, especially when I am a hormonal mess and no longer listen to reason.

I can honestly say that I have never really been told that I was pretty by anyone that was not a friend or family member.  I’ve never had anyone that was romantically interested in me tell me that.  As a girl, there are times when I just want to be accepted as pretty.  I want to be appreciated by guys, but ugly duck syndrome keeps shoving its nasty way into my life.

This is the little voice in my head that asks me why am I worth it.  It asks me why someone would be interested in me.  It tells me that I am going to be alone forever.  This little voice, often times, gets yelled at and thrown in a corner for a time out- but the thoughts still linger.

I know there are many areas that need to work on.  I need to work on just being myself and not clamming up when things FINALLY seem to be going good.  I need to learn to not get too attached or get too hopeful too quickly.  I have next to no patience and it’s not that I’m going to go out there and blurt things out- I just give up on myself too quickly.  I need to work on gaining patience, the patience to know what to do and how to wait and how to just be able to make it through the frustrating days without absolutely wanting to blow a gasket.

A lot of my issues though, come from ugly duck syndrome.  I don’t think I’m pretty- some other people may see it, but I don’t.  I’m the girl that was never truly part of any crowd in high school, so I had to learn how to be tough and let everything roll off my back.  I had to learn to accept that I would never be the one that was invited to the lunch table or to the party after the football game.  I was a cheerleader and a straight A student and I still live with this outer edges view.  However, I will never compromise myself to fit in.  I’ll never hurt someone to be considered cool and I will keep working at me.  It’s all that I can really promise and maybe one day this ugly duck will feel as pretty as some people in the world have told her that she is.  Until then- I guess I’m just going to have to fake…because maybe if I fake it long enough, I’ll finally feel a little bit of it myself.

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