Like many women out there- I am a victim of the romance novel. I read them. I love them. I find new series that make me ill when the author seems to run out of ideas after book 10 or decides not to finish the series at all. Let’s all face it those- romance novels are full of things that are completely unrealistic and here is my top ten (not listed in order of importance):
1.) Your dream guy is going to just fall out of the sky, sweep you off your feet and take all your worries away.
I know some women who have been fortunate enough to have something like this to happen to them. I am not saying that it is not impossible, but Mr. Dark and Handsome that just walked your way is most likely off the market and does not have a white horse to carry off on either.
2.) All breathtaking men have great…um…how shall we put this…’assets’.
Do I really need to go into detail about that one? I think not.
3.) Breathtaking men will fall for average looking women.
Before anyone objects- I am not going to say that this does not happen- but let’s face facts. Most extremely handsome men fancy themselves as a match for someone that is equally attractive. That does not mean that all handsome men are superficial pricks, but every man enjoys women that look good and they especially enjoy being with them. I’m sorry ladies, but for most of us, our handsome prince charming is not going to be a former male model.
4.) Your dream man will know all the right things to say.
Nope. Probably not going to happen, actually you’ll probably get in a fight or two at times. Doesn’t mean that you aren’t right for each other, but if you are looking for romance book utopia- it might not be possible.
5.) All sexy men are extremely tall.
Have you ever heard of a male character in a romance novel being short (under the 6’0 mark)? I don’t think so. It’s not that we women don’t like the eye candy that tall men offer- but it is unrealistic to expect that the only sexy men out there are in this crazy tall category. There are plenty of men that fall into the under 6’0 mark that are absolutely as charming and handsome as their taller counterparts. For me, personally, after about 6’2- I become intimidated. I’m just a bit too short to go for the 6’5-6’8 men that live in romance novels.
6.) It is perfectly fine to have sex after knowing someone for ten minutes.
Have you ever been three pages into your newest romance novel read and find a full on smutty scene? Yeah- in real life that doesn’t happen. In real life, you don’t want for it to happen. No girl really wants to be labeled that way and it doesn’t matter that the female character has the internal debate about whether or not she is a slut by doing this and then decides to just go along with it anyway. I’m sure many women out there have a friend who wore this label for a one time mistake- but the real world is no where near as forgiving as fiction.
7.) It is okay if you do not know how to cook.
Cooking? Why do you need to know how to cook? Why would you waste time on that skill when there are other things that are much more entertaining that you could be doing?
8.) Men do not belch or pass gas at the most inopportune times and then pretend that nothing happened.
Have you ever read a romantic scene that was ruined by the man having a bought of gas so horrid that the lady went screaming from the room? Really and truly though, this is something that can be claimed by both men and women- but you never see that come up in a romance novel.
9.) The both of you will know that the other is ‘the one’ within two weeks, three days and 7 hours.
Some people meet, hit it off and do know that they want to be with the other person forever very quickly. Most people do not have this happen to them. Most people spend months, if not years with a person before they decide whether or not they want to marry them. I’m not saying that these people are better off with a longer courtship- but if you are looking for this kind of quick, all consuming knowledge- you best look elsewhere.
And finally…last but not least…
10.)That guy that you have secretly liked for ten years and you thought he never noticed you, really likes you as well.
*scratches head* Where, oh where, should I start on this one? If the two of you have known each other for ten (or 5 or 15) years- most likely it has crossed his mind at some point or another to consider you as a girlfriend. If he didn’t make a move it is for either one of two reasons. 1.) He is scared of losing your friendship or of possible rejection OR 2.)He has realized that you are an awesome friend- but nothing more. Most likely he is completely oblivious to the fact that you like him in the first place. And if you find yourself aimlessly doodling his name in random notebooks- it might be time that you do something about it- like ask him point blank. If you don’t want to ruin your friendship- just remember that that little secret might just eat you alive.
So…that’s my top ten- I’m sure there are plenty of other unrealistic lessons that are learned in romance novels. If you want- you can add some of your own. I can hazard a guess that we all have at least one that is floating around in our minds.