Does it ever seem like everyone else around you is pregnant, but you? Does it ever seem like you are completely surround by married people and you are the only single person? Welcome to my life. Before anyone takes this the wrong way, and I’m sure someone will, I love babies, I love kids. I do not dislike pregnant women or married women- I would just like to be able to join their ranks, sooner rather than later if possible.
Are there many ways to get pregnant and have children without being in a meaningful relationship? Yes. Are those things options that I have considered? No. I am a firm believer in a nuclear family- mom, dad and little kiddies. And while I am making friends here- I’ll go ahead and say that the mom and dad should be married before little kiddies come along. That is not saying that it is impossible to have a good marriage that comes from a baby being concieved, it is just not my ideal way of beginning a family.
I’ve heard several women in my life describe the wait that they had to go through for the right man to come along to be their husband. One of these women is my mother, who is a devout Christian woman and she constantly reminds me that God has an ultimate plan for me. While I agree with this, it does not necessarily ease any of my frustrations with my current relationship status and the fact that I don’t see any babies of my own in the near future.
It has become increasingly difficult to look at my friends who are in happy and healthy relationships with a smile on my face. Am I happy for them? Absolutely- it is just hard to keep that happiness in the forefront when the selfish part of me just wants a small piece of this for myself. I have many friends that do not know what to do when they are single- I’m not even sure I would know what to do if I found myself in a relationship.
I can admit that I suffered from what I will call ‘ugly duck syndrome’ in high school and in my mind I still suffer it today. I’ve heard people say that you have to love yourself before others will love you- I don’t know if I believe it or not. I do, however, believe that you have to come to a kind of acceptance in your life that things will be just fine, even if you have to spend more time alone than you planned. At this point, I firmly believe that I have settled in for the long haul- that doesn’t make it any easier to deal with the good news that I hear from friend after friend. It just reminds me that somewhere my long road will end and maybe I’ll be a little bit kinder to the singles I know, because heaven only knows how many times I’ve been helped by friends who still remember what it was like when they were in my shoes.